So, it's New Years Eve, and all I can think is that I've got two months left with my mom.
Holy Shit. Time flies.
Well, here's to the next two months of The Great Sadness infecting more of my life.
Fuck cancer.
Pissed off,
Niki FM.
Friday, December 31, 2010
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Day 40.
Christmas Day.
Presents have been opened, pictures have been taken, and now I'm exhausted again.
It feels different this year, for obvious reasons, but also because my puppy is sleeping on top of me.
Best gift was the fact that I got to spend Christmas, her last one, with her and my family. I will cherish every moment spent with her, and keep them with me always.
Second favorite gift was the "Je T'aimerai Toujours" by Robert Munsch.
(Love You Forever) in French.
Close third best gift was the Apple Store shopping spree that I will be having on the 26th with Ray for a new 13" MacBook Pro and printer.
I'm excited to join the Mac family, and also excited to have a portable computer, not like my shitty Dell that I currently own. Although, in my defense, I've had that Dell laptop for 5 years now, and it's time to upgrade!
Anyway, I better go and snuggle with Bentley.
Love and Lipstick,
Niki FM.
Presents have been opened, pictures have been taken, and now I'm exhausted again.
It feels different this year, for obvious reasons, but also because my puppy is sleeping on top of me.
Best gift was the fact that I got to spend Christmas, her last one, with her and my family. I will cherish every moment spent with her, and keep them with me always.
Second favorite gift was the "Je T'aimerai Toujours" by Robert Munsch.
(Love You Forever) in French.
Close third best gift was the Apple Store shopping spree that I will be having on the 26th with Ray for a new 13" MacBook Pro and printer.
I'm excited to join the Mac family, and also excited to have a portable computer, not like my shitty Dell that I currently own. Although, in my defense, I've had that Dell laptop for 5 years now, and it's time to upgrade!
Anyway, I better go and snuggle with Bentley.
Love and Lipstick,
Niki FM.
Day 39.
You forgot who I was today, mom. Five minutes later you couldn't spell Caroline's name. You take the amount of pain medication equivalent to knock out a 300 pound man. You weigh 90 pounds on a good day.
The Great Sadness won today, and I will fall asleep surrounded by the persistent blanket of the Great Sadness.
Papa, I need you to lift me up. Jesus, comfort me and fill me with the peace that passes all understanding.
I need you.
Love and Lipstick,
Niki FM.
The Great Sadness won today, and I will fall asleep surrounded by the persistent blanket of the Great Sadness.
Papa, I need you to lift me up. Jesus, comfort me and fill me with the peace that passes all understanding.
I need you.
Love and Lipstick,
Niki FM.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Day 36.
I love my little gay puppy, Mr. Bentley Jameson Nugget. He's making things lots easier to deal with.
Love and Lipstick,
Niki FM.
Love and Lipstick,
Niki FM.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Day 34 cont'd.
Cried myself to sleep tonight. Fought so many temptations, and I almost lost.
Can someone just please shake me awake from this nightmare?
The Great Sadness has taken ahold of me and won't let go. It's like a nice warm blanket. Always here, always with me.
How could Papa (God) let this happen? Does He love me? Love her?
Fuck cancer,
Niki FM.
Can someone just please shake me awake from this nightmare?
The Great Sadness has taken ahold of me and won't let go. It's like a nice warm blanket. Always here, always with me.
How could Papa (God) let this happen? Does He love me? Love her?
Fuck cancer,
Niki FM.
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